i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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