there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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