True but thats because hes a fetus.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
