What did we do last night that was yellow?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
