Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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