You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
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