she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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