I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
