they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
