They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
