Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
