i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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