he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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