I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
