As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
