Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
