I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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