WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize