it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
