it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
