The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I cut my penus on the lid.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
