Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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