Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
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