I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
