everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
