He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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