Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
