I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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