i was born a porn star she said
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize