Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
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