So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
