How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
