Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I am one with the molecules
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
