my mouth tastes like poor choices
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
