you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Who died my cat blue again?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
