yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
