I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
