Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
