They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
