Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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