I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
