Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
