I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
