Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize