Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Randomize
