im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
