And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
