went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
