Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
