I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
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