I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
