# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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