We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
