this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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