im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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