i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
