just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
