no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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