guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize