She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
