trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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