Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
